May 2023
John M. 's Reviews
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Austrian Flamenco guitarist Otmar Liebert included. 2. CAFÉ MOZART: (1794): (2 Albertinaplatz): This traditional “kaffeehaus,” is one of the oldest cafes in Vienna, and also one of its most famous, perfect for writing in your moleskin notebook, even though the radio speakers no longer play much Mozart (“Eine Kleine Nachtmusik” anyone?), but instead blast at low volume Soundgarten’s “Black Hole Sun” and Beck’s “Dark Star.” Try, a “cappuccino” which comes with a gratis glass of “Wasser” (tap water) and a chocolate amuse bouche called “Mozart Kugelyn” (Mozart Candies), little golf-ball-shaped Marzipan sweets which Germanic peoples pop like Prozak addictions. 3. CAFÉ HAWELKA: (1939): (6 Dorotheestrasse): This charming café, with so-called Jugendstil décor, feels a little like an “extended living room,” a place to be alone, but with company, and a touristy soundtrack from both Strausses: Johannes and Ricard. Try, the “Buchteinn” (sweet buns), with a strong shot of espresso. 4. CAFÉ SACHER: (1880): (4 Philharmonikerstrasse): This lesson in Mittel Europa opulence is less dangerous than one would think, until the bill arrives at least. Try, the chic pulled 100% Arabica shots in small cups along with the--yeah, you guessed it--signature “Sacher Torte”: the forerunner of modern-day bodega-bought chocolate Yodels ™. 5. CAFE LANDTMAN: (1873): (4 Dr. Karl Lueger-Ring): This landmark coffee stop right behind the Burgtheater is perhaps the least romantic café in Europe, even though it was once a favorite of Marleine Dietrich (and more recently incognitoed Paul McCartney and Hillary Clinton), still with brisk waiters and bored baristas in starched-white aprons and Prussian “Walrus” mustaches. Try, the ghoulish “ghoulash,” which resembles cannibalism on spaetzle. 6. CAFÉ GRIENSTEIDL: (1847): (2 Michaelerplatz): This utopian Belle Epoque pretender is one of the most storied of utopian kaffehauses, claiming that Checkov once arrived here with a female companion: a lady with a lapdog. Try, the Austro-Hungarian-style “Linzer Torte.” 7. PRINCE COFFEE CLUB: (2013): (8-9 Hoher Markt ): This “functional” recently revamped and reopened Space Age “moderne” café was built by the architect Peter Døllman and boasts probably the best regular joe in Vienna, as well as “Kapuziner” and “Einspanner,” better even than McDonald’s. Try, the “Wiener Blut” (Vienna’s blood sausages with “kraut”—whoops, “No have. . . .”). 8. CAFÉ SCHWARZENBERG: (1890): (17 Kartner Ring): This storybook “Bohemian” grand café is popular with perpetual students and local flaneurs practicing Import-Export—euphemistic slang for “chronic unemployment. Try, the “mokka” (chocolate and coffee), along with a smoke (allowed here). 9. CAFÉ ALT WIEN: (1936): (9 Båckerstrasse): This dark and gloomy film-noir café, founded by Leopold Hawelka, owner of the famous “Café Hawelka,” pretty much sums up what life is all about: doing absolutely nothing in particular. Try, “Fruhstuck” (breakfast) along with some dynamite joe, again served up with a glass of water and a freebie chocolate. 10. CAFÉ PRUCKEL: (1950): (24 Stubenring): This mockup of a grand café from the era of B-flicks, is a corner café which corners the market in people watching, mostly dapper old men and femme fatales, right on the legendary Ringstrasse. Try, the Austrian version of creampuffs filled with clotted crème fraishe. 11. CAFE SPERL: (1880): (11 Gumpendorferstrasse): This eye-opening “sitch” with a Waspy yellow-and-black exterior is a good-enough reason to expatriate yourself here for a year or more, maybe washing dishes, what George Orlwell called a “plongeur.” Try, the bratwurst with whatever you want, maybe a “Brauner” (milky espresso) or “Verkherter” (foamy latte). 12. CAFÉ CENTRAL: (1876): (14 Herrengasse): This opulent classic café evokes time travel at its best, with a literary scene bar none, and most foreigners personal fave upon the lively Viennese café scene. Try, the “Flaker” (coffee with rum and whipped cream) and fly like an eagle--or perhaps, make a monarchical game of cards with an obvious “Damen und Herren” pickup. .... |
